I saw this show last Sunday. It made me so irritated. Irritated that I was spending a sunny Sunday afternoon indoors. Irritated that no one wanted to go with me to see it. But most of all, I was irritated that the show was so disappointing. It was walk-out worthy. But, I stayed through to see the second act since I was, well, reviewing it.

Sad, since it seems like they spent a lot of money producing it (great sets, lighting, costumes, props, etc.) But on such dreck! Oh, well. Onward and upward.

Earth: TTFN?! considers itself a campy parody of sci-fi B-movies from the 50s and 60s, including wacky comic book action and dialogue.

The schizophrenic plot has something to do with a bunch of aliens from Planet Sildenian fighting to destroy Earth because it’s “bringing down intergalactic real estate prices and driving up Sildenian taxes.”

The audience gets to vote for Earth’s survival.

In addition to this, writer Kim Williams (who hides behind the pseudonym “The Chronicler”) has half-heartedly interjected clichéd topical references, such as potshots at Governor Blagojevich, Dr. Phil and Octomom.

The cast of nine works hard to energize the material, however, I’ve never been so uncomfortable for a cast in my life.

Read the full review here.

And was ready to mock it, etc. Since I’m a snob. But, instead, I was blown away by this number.

The following is part of a series that can be followed here, here and here.

A word of warning: to get the referenced jokes, it helps to know:

1) The musical The Producers.
2) The 1995 Hal Prince revival of Show Boat — specifically Kim’s Charleston, a featured number in the show featuring a Broadway chorus girl named Tammy Amerson.
3) A bit of the saga of former mega theatre producer, Garth Drabinksy.
4) This recent Riedel article.

Ready? Now go here to read on Jamie’s blog. We’re so funny!

It’s that kind of day.

Point of Contention theatre company has announced their upcoming production of THE WONDER: A Woman Keeps a Secret by Suzanna Centlivre.

From their press release:

THE WONDER follows the story of the quick-witted Violante and her suitor, the dashing Don Felix. When Violante vows to shield her friend Isabelle (who happens to be Felix’s sister) from an arranged marriage – chaos ensues. Add in samba beats, swashbuckling, and one oddly placed Scotsman and our heroine soon finds herself in the middle of an uproarious scandal only Britain’s most controversial classical playwright could concoct.

Sounds like a rollicking good time!

However, I post this news mainly to share the stunning production artwork. I want this framed!

More information on THE WONDER can be found here.

My lovely Amanda is leaving Chicago for Cleveland (yes, THAT Cleveland) thanks to a job offer she can’t refuse. To see her off, Gator and I smoked some ribs and drank several cans of beer with her this weekend. I’ll miss you, AmandaPandaPrincess (yes, I pulled out that nickname circa 1998).

On another highly unrelated note, look! It’s the sibling singing duo of Liz and Ann Hampton Callaway! My! They’re so fancy and glamorous.

You know how we hold some people on such a high pedestal, they can’t possibly ever live up to our expectations? And in the quest to make a connection with such a person, we end up getting bruised and battered — and wiser?

Such is the case with Maile Hernandez’s relationship with Broadway star Patti LuPone. In her book, “The Unreachable Star: My Unauthorized Travels with Patti LuPone,” Hernandez chronicles her multi-year long quixotic quest to make a connection with her idol. While the narrative can easily creep over to crazy fangirldom, Hernandez retains perspective, always making it clear that she knows her boundaries between enthusiastic fan and stalker.

Ooh. Stalker. Yes, it’s a word that’s thrown out there with little regard. However, Hernandez is far from a stalker. She never crosses that line — you know, driving by her house late at night, making a Patti Shrine, or calling her number and hanging up. In fact, she respects LuPone so much, she avoids stage-dooring, as it might seem too obtrusive. Instead, she writes wordy, candid and funny letters to LuPone, which are featured in the book, hoping to elicit a response. It’s both humorous and heartbreaking.

In fueling her obsession with LuPone, Hernandez spends some time talking about the online LuPone MySpace fan community she befriends. She’s amazed at their collective knowledge of all things LuPone, and soon she’s exchanging emails and gossip with a group of teenagers — knowing how ridiculous it all is for a 30-something mother to be doing so. It’s an interesting perspective on how seemingly comforting it is to find community online, and then how dangerous it can become when one shifts from passive observant to full-fledged participant.

While there are times in the book you want to take Hernandez by the shoulders and shake her back into reality, you get the feeling she already knows this. In her travels, Hernandez confronts her fears in succeeding as a mother of an autistic child, a professional and an artist. In the end, her dysfunctional relationship with LuPone provides the needed face-slap to give her perspective on what really matters — something I think we all need every now and then.

To learn more about Maile Hernandez and her book, visit MaileHernandez.com.

1) In my world, there is no such thing as “working in a set.” When I am using a piece of equipment, don’t come lurching around me, forcing me to remove my earbuds to ask what you want, and then you asking if you can “work in a set.” This means you have to reset the equipment to your specs, do your set, and then I have to reset the equipment back to my specs to do my set, with the added bonus of you watching and judging me during the entire process. And then you want to do another set in between my set. NO. No this will not happen. Especially when there are about three either pieces of currently unused equipment that do the same friggin’ thing.

2) Don’t steal my wallet or I will castrate you.

3) Rack your friggen’ weights. Don’t just leave them laying all over the mat, so I can either trip on them, or am forced to wander around looking for the other 30 lb weight.

4) If you get up and walk away from a weight bench or a piece of equipment for several minutes, you have given up your rights to that item. You don’t have dibs on it. Even if you leave your dirty sweat towel on the seat. You can rest between sets without walking to the other side of the gym to converse with your other meat head buddies. If you do this, don’t be surprised if I take your equipment, and don’t act like I’ve done some major grievance to you.

5) Why are you wearing jeans at the gym? Stop it.

Let’s swing into the long weekend with my favorite bluesy cabaret chanteuse — Ms. Ann Hampton Callaway.

She has a voice that melts butter, and then, with just a turn of a phrase, sizzles. She could fry an egg with her voice, essentially.

My wallet was stolen tonight — stolen from my gym bag which was locked in my gym locker. Strange thing is the lock was not even tampered with.

When I found out, I was so mad and upset, I was shaking. I’m still shaking I’m so pissed!

Long story short, there were a few people this evening who had their wallets (and phones — but luckily I had my bberry on my person) this evening. We filed a police report. And the officer revealed this was a common — nearly weekly – occurrence at this particular Bally Total Fitness (on Waukegan and Lake Cook in Deerfield, IL.). He said it’s very easy to pick into the tumbler/dial locks — so easy it’s almost worthless to use them.  (I just looked at a video on youtube. Yeah, it’s scary easy.)

So I have to get a new license tomorrow on my lunch break. And I have no access to money, aside from the $50 I have in coins, which I just went to Jewel and cashed out so I could buy gas to get to work tomorrow.

Oh, and in the hour or so they had access to my cards, the fuckers spent over $200 at Abercrombie & Fitch! Gross!

FML!!

So watch your pockets. This is the second time in a few months that money was stolen from me. The thieves are getting very, very crafty. I’m better off stuffing my money in a mattress.